Title: Condition Of My Heart
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairings: Kyuhyun/Sungmin mainly
Summary: Kyuhyun realises that he likes Sungmin. What does he do about it? Deny it of course.
Previous Chapters: Prologue / One / Two
Kyuhyun curled up into a ball on his bed, clutching at his blanket as his hands curled into iron fists. He moaned into his pillow as his forehead broke out in cold sweat. Dry heaving, he pushed at the plate of food balanced precariously on his bedside table. The smell of food make him want to throw up. Kyuhyun kicked at the covers like a little boy, tossing and turning relentlessly.
Ryeowook ventured in with Yesung at his heels, knocking tentatively at the door. Yesung had his hands on Ryeowook's shoulders, poised to pull him back at any sign of danger or Kyuhyun's famed anger outbursts.
'Kyuhyunnie, are you alright?'
'Either get my keyboard back, or leave me alone. I see no keyboard in thy hands.'
'Heechul hyung locked it his room. Nobody dares to go in, and Hankyung hyung would never betray hyung. We're probably be plagued with locusts and frogs and ants and god forbid, cockroaches, if we entrered Heechul's room of hell, um, pink.' Ryeowook fiddled with his shirt. 'Don't you want to eat that Kyu?'
'I'll eat it.' Yesung raised an arm, only to be smacked down by Ryeowook. 'It's for Kyu, Sungie. I'll make your favourite japchae later.'
Yesung resumed his blissful look of nonchalance and reached over to stroke at Ryeowook's philtrum even as his boyfriend jabbed his elbow into his gut.
Kyuhyun groaned and shielded his eyes from the load of romantic mushiness that was being loaded into the room. 'I don't want it, Yesung hyung can have it.'
'Alright alright. Let me know when you want something.'
Ryeowook carried the plate out with a worried look on his face. Yesung hovered near Kyuhyun, mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something. Kyuhyun peeked through his fingers and sighed. Nobody understood Yesung really, except Ryeowook. And that was only because Ryeowook had definitely been around Yesung too long, he was already beyond any help. Yesung reached forward, quickly took a swift swipe at Kyuhyun's philtrum and ran out of the room, giggling madly.
Kyuhyun threw a pillow and missed.
'I hate my life!'
He awoke hours later to a cool hand on his forehead.
'You're not sick are you,' Sungmin asked.
'Just in withdrawal. How long do druggies last without their fix?'
The elder gave a quiet laugh and waved the keyboard in Kyuhyun's face. Kyuhyun's eyes lit up as he sat up immediately, all strength restored. 'Heechul hyung would never hurt me. Anyway he probably wouldn't last ten seconds.' Sungmin shrugged. 'Take it, it's yours. If anybody asks, it was returned to you anonymously with a bow wrapped around it.'
Kyuhyun stroked his beloved keyboard and held it to his chest. 'Oh my baby I'll never leave you again. Did Heechul torture you? I bet he didn't even plug you in did he?' Sungmin looked back at his dongsaeng, eagerly fiddling with his computer, and smiled gently at the thought of Kyuhyun being happy. When Kyuhyun realised that he hadn't thanked his hyung and looked up, Sungmin had already left the room.
He was going crazy. During dance practice, during vocal practice, even during lunch time, Kyuhyun would look up at the most unopportune moments and catch a glimpse of Sungmin looking down, fiddling with his hair, crossing his arms.
But never once smiling happily.
He clenched his fists tightly, ignoring Eeteuk's worried glances and Shindong's chopsticks stealing away his rice and meat. He left the practice room and walked around for abit, trying to clear his head. Kyuhyun paused at a wide window looking over the cityscape and rested his forehead against the cool glass.
'Cho Kyuhyun what is wrong with you?' His breath misted up the glass, and faded as quickly as it had formed.
'Oppa.' He turned to see Tiffany of SNSD peeking around the corner of the corridor. 'Talking to yourself now? I always knew being an idol made people go crazy.' She smiled.
Kyuhyun sighed and ran a hand through his hair. For reasons unknown to him, Tiffany had taken a fancy to him and always found excuses to talk to him. God forbid that he'd actually like her back. He preferred more cheerful and bubbly girls like Sooyoung and Sunny, rather than the icy exterior of Tiffany and Jessica. Pasting on his stage smile, he raised his hand in acknowledgment.
'Why still so informal? Aren't we friends already?' She laughed coyly as she put her hand on his shoulder.
'Not well enough no. You're still my hoobae and I'm,' Kyuhyun drew himself up to his full height, 'still your sunbae.' He looked down at her.
'Oh.' Her smile faltered. 'I didn't realise you felt that way, Kyuhyun, sunbae.' Tiffany struggled with the word as it left her mouth.
Kyuhyun reached for the hand on his shoulder and gently removed it. Tiffany blinked a couple of times and let her hair cover her face. She bowed hurriedly and backed away. But her heel got caught on one of the tiles and she stumbled back with a cry. Kyuhyun's eyes widened in alarm and gripped the hand he was holding tighter and pulled her flush against him. He supported her with another hand on her back.
'Are you alright?'
'I'm fine thank you.' She smiled up at him, a mixture of sadness and contentment.
'Kyuhyun-ah, cheoreographer hyung is looking for us and Eeteuk wants to - ' Sungmin called out as he walked down the hallway, looking for his dongsaeng. He stopped short as he took in the couple in front of him. Tiffany in Kyuhyun's arms as she breathed heavily. Kyuhyun looking down at her gently as his arm was wound tightly around her waist. Sungmin choked and lifted his hand to cover his mouth, before turning tail and running back to the practice room, wiping furiously at his eyes.
Kyuhyun and Tiffany looked up at the noise and Kyuhyun's eyes only saw a familiar figure running away. His arm stretched out towards him uselessly.
But it was no use.
Heechul stormed into Kyuhyun's room that night, shaking Hankyung off as the latter whispered furiously in his ear.
'You are the worst dongsaeng ever. I tell you to figure it out and you go dig yourself the biggest hole in history. Sungmin will be sleeping in my room from now on. Thank you very much. No wait, I take that back. I hope you rot in your own misery. Cause Sungmin is certainly doing that now.'
Heechul pushed his boyfriend out of the way as he slammed the door closed. Hankyung sighed and smacked Kyuhyun's cheeks lightly.
'You're an idiot.'
'What happened?' Kyuhyun faltered. 'Min was already gone with Heechul hyung and Ryeowook when I got back to the practice room. Did he say anything about me?'
'I shouldn't even be telling you.' The Chinese man pursed his lips in distaste, folding his arms.
Kyuhyun chose to wait, and let silence fill the room. Hankyung relented after a few minutes, his eyes losing the hard glint of anger that Kyuhyun had learnt to be wary of.
'Sungmin came running back into the room tearing up. He refused to tell anybody what was wrong and wanted everybody to dance and do their normal shit. It wasn't until Heechul got to him that he started crying.' A long sigh. 'Only Heechul knows what happened.' Hankyung looked down his nose at Kyuhyun. 'Except you. If you'd hurt Sungmin in any way, there will be hell to pay Cho Kyuhyun. The entire band is like a barrel of gunpowder waiting to go off.' Without another word, Hankyung left Kyuhyun in the dark.
'No no no no no.' Kyuhyun ran his hands through his hair repeatedly. 'Hyung no!' He picked up a book and hurled it at the opposite wall as it made a loud noise. He rammed his fist into the wall with a sickening crunch and winced as he slowly uncurled his fingers. The bed creaked as it sagged under his sudden weight.
The door slammed open as Ryeowook rushed in.
'Kyu! I heard, I heard a loud noise and - ' he stopped short and looked sadly at Kyuhyun cradling his hand. 'I'll go get some ice.' He left and shut the door gently.
Kyuhyun sat mutely as Ryeowook tended to his hand with a bag of ice and some ointment. He never looked up as Eeteuk's gentle fingers replaced Ryeowook's with a quiet 'I'll take care of this Wookie. Jongwoon's looking for you.' Eeteuk held the ice pack gently over bruised and swollen knuckles as Kyuhyun stared straight ahead into Sungmin's bed. Sungmin's empty bed.
'You know, keeping quiet and punching walls isn't going to solve anything.'
Kyuhyun hissed as the ice pack hit a sensitive spot. Eeteuk bandaged up his hand as carefully as he could. He blinked at the sudden wetness in his eyes.
'Hyung I love Sungmin.'
'I know. You told me before you went into denial. Look at what good that did.' He muttered.
'No, I told you that I like Sungmin. Now, I'm saying that I love Sungmin.'
'You - ' Eeteuk put a reassuring hand on the maknae's shoulder. 'You're sure?'
'I know it. When he comes to me instead of anyone else with his complains or jokes, I'm secretly really happy inside. When I realised he saw me and Tiffany, which wasn't what it was by the way, it feels like there's a knife in me, carving out his name over and over again. It hurts hyung. Why does it hurt so bad?' Kyuhyun closed his eyes and the tears slid down his face.
'Tiffany?' Eeteuk waved it away with his hand. 'Whatever it is, it doesn't matter right now. What matters is you and Sungmin. If you love him, then do something about it. Before it's too late.' Eeteuk stood up. 'I never had to worry about you Kyu. You may be the maknae but you're more mature in some ways than the other members. In other ways, you're a dork.' Kyuhyun snorted. 'It's time to take responsibility for your actions Kyuhyun.'
'But hyung - ' A hand on Eeteuk's wrist stopped him from leaving the room. 'What if he doesn't love me back?'
Eeteuk smiled at the youngest. 'Isn't it a risk everybody has to take?'
And again, Kyuhyun was left in the dark. But within ten seconds Kyuhyun had burst out of his room, with all the intentions of charging into Heechul's room, consequences be damned, and telling Sungmin that he was wrong, he didn't like girls he liked him. He felt free, finally admitting to himself the truth, that he didn't have to be held down by lies any more.
He skidded to a halt in the living room as he saw Sungmin sitting on the couch, eyes closed head drooping forward as he rested. Kyuhyun smiled and approached quietly, appreciating the way Sungmin's eyelashes rested on his cheekbones.
He really is beautiful isn't he, Kyuhyun thought to himself.
The next moment, he had run back to his room, locking the door, shutting out the world behind him.
Because sleeping next to Sungmin, tucked close under his arm, was Sunny.
A/N: Okay I admit I lied. I can't stop myself from writing haha. Since this came out two days after I posted the last update lol. And it's LONGER!
P.S I don't like Tiffany *wrinkles nose* No offence to anybody so I made her a mini bad guy here lol. And I really like Sunny but Sunny is close to Sungmin and for the sake of the story, I wrote her in lol. Has anybody noticed how alike they look anyway?
P.P.S Super Junior has come and left :( But at least in the pics that I've managed to find, Sungmin is smiling:)
P.P.P.S I LOVE JAPCHAE!
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